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You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

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4.85
21,478 ratings · 4,809 reviews
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You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

4.85 21,478 ratings · 4,809 reviews
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Overview: You’ve eaten too much candy at Christmas…but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You’ve seen gingerbread houses…but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You’ve woken up with a hangover…but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.You better not cry --And two eyes made out of coal --Claus and effect --Ask again later --Why do you reward me thus --The best and only everything --Silent night

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Topics & Genres

Pages 206
Language Eng
Published October 1, 2009
ISBN 6548291
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Augusten Burroughs
About the Author
Augusten Burroughs
15,770 Followers

Augusten Burroughs is the author of several novels. Originally from the East Coast, they now live in the Midwest with family. In addition to writing, Augusten Burroughs enjoys gardening, cooking, and reading way past bedtime. Their work often explores the complexities of everyday life and human relationships.

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Donald Phillips
Donald Phillips September 09, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Elizabeth Campbell December 29, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Paul Thompson August 08, 2024
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Elizabeth Campbell February 20, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Sharon Hill November 22, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Patricia Perez January 19, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Laura Roberts November 14, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Nancy Thompson August 10, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Eric Carter December 26, 2024
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
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A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Robert Torres November 15, 2025
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Steven Jones February 24, 2025
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Donald Phillips
Donald Phillips May 25, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Daniel Taylor
Daniel Taylor September 08, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Betty Lopez
Betty Lopez June 19, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Carol Lopez December 13, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Amanda Hernandez
Amanda Hernandez January 16, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Barbara Thomas
Barbara Thomas September 11, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Paul Torres
Paul Torres January 06, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Sandra Perez
Sandra Perez February 06, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Nancy Hernandez
Nancy Hernandez January 22, 2024
It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Melissa Nguyen
Melissa Nguyen October 10, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
John  Davis
John Davis August 01, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
Steven White
Steven White August 28, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Daniel Phillips
Daniel Phillips April 11, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Joshua Torres
Joshua Torres March 01, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Nicholas Gomez
Nicholas Gomez September 11, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Matthew Hernandez December 16, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Kevin Lopez June 22, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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William Taylor June 23, 2024
Not entirely to my refined tastes. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. A fair 3 stars.
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Margaret Wright September 09, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Laura Torres
Laura Torres March 02, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Donna Young
Donna Young March 16, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Amanda Hernandez
Amanda Hernandez July 29, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Laura Hill
Laura Hill April 28, 2025
It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average.
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Linda Scott April 01, 2024
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A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Deborah Phillips
Deborah Phillips October 09, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Barbara Thomas
Barbara Thomas March 11, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Mark Williams
Mark Williams May 31, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Sandra Green
Sandra Green May 04, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Margaret Turner
Margaret Turner March 14, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Matthew  Davis
Matthew Davis August 25, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Brian Miller August 07, 2025
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Sarah Miller January 16, 2024
It was adequate. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Edward Young
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Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Melissa Moore July 16, 2025
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A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Jennifer Jones June 25, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Michael Young
Michael Young November 26, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Kevin Clark
Kevin Clark April 05, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Elizabeth Campbell
Elizabeth Campbell September 20, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Michelle White
Michelle White August 19, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donna Phillips
Donna Phillips April 13, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Cynthia Brown
Cynthia Brown January 17, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Michelle White
Michelle White August 08, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Susan Scott
Susan Scott May 19, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Melissa Moore
Melissa Moore March 15, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Sandra Gomez
Sandra Gomez June 06, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Ryan Collins
Ryan Collins August 04, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Carol Sanchez
Carol Sanchez August 10, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
James Green
James Green June 27, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Dorothy Thomas
Dorothy Thomas October 15, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
William Wright
William Wright December 21, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Jessica Jackson
Jessica Jackson March 13, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Robert Diaz
Robert Diaz July 29, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Sarah Rodriguez
Sarah Rodriguez July 30, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Gary Smith
Gary Smith May 07, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Melissa Clark
Melissa Clark July 26, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Donald Scott
Donald Scott August 06, 2025
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Christopher Perez
Christopher Perez March 22, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
William Thompson
William Thompson February 02, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Sarah Rodriguez
Sarah Rodriguez December 12, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Charles Clark
Charles Clark October 11, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Charles  Davis
Charles Davis May 22, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joshua Torres
Joshua Torres March 01, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Laura Clark
Laura Clark February 18, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Lisa Thompson
Lisa Thompson February 22, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Michelle Nelson
Michelle Nelson December 04, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Jacob Young
Jacob Young August 31, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Laura Lee
Laura Lee October 18, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Cynthia Brown
Cynthia Brown July 19, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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