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This Close to Happy: A Reckoning with Depression

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This Close to Happy: A Reckoning with Depression

4.85 44,992 ratings · 9,817 reviews
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Overview: A gifted and audacious writer confronts her lifelong battle with depression and her search for release This Close to Happy is the rare, vividly personal account of what it feels like to suffer from clinical depression, written from a woman’s perspective and informed by an acute understanding of the implications of this disease over a lifetime.Taking off from essays on depression she has written for The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Daphne Merkin casts her eye back to her beginnings to try to sort out the root causes of her affliction. She recounts the travails of growing up in a large, affluent family where there was a paucity of love and of basics such as food and clothing despite the presence of a chauffeur and a cook. She goes on to recount her early hospitalization for depression in poignant detail, as well as her complex relationship with her mercurial, withholding mother.Along the way Merkin also discusses her early, redemptive love of reading and gradual emergence as a writer. She eventually marries, has a child, and suffers severe postpartum depression, for which she is again hospitalized. Merkin also discusses her visits to various therapists and psychopharmocologists, which enables her to probe the causes of depression and its various treatments. The book ends in the present, where the writer has learned how to navigate her depression, if not “cure” it, after a third hospitalization in the wake of her mother’s death.

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Book details & editions

ISBN
29939265
Publication date
February 7, 2017
Pages
N/A pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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Daphne Merkin
About the Author
Daphne Merkin
14,362 Followers

Daphne Merkin is the author of several novels. Originally from the East Coast, they now live in the Midwest with family. In addition to writing, Daphne Merkin enjoys gardening, cooking, and reading way past bedtime. Their work often explores the complexities of everyday life and human relationships.

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Charles Smith
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Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Mark Walker July 12, 2025
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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James Edwards
James Edwards February 11, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Paul Young April 10, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Deborah Walker
Deborah Walker January 21, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Nicholas Nelson
Nicholas Nelson December 19, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Jacob Mitchell October 18, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Karen Rodriguez September 17, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Lisa Phillips
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Deborah Parker July 18, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Sharon Allen
Sharon Allen October 21, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Charles Flores February 06, 2025
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Barbara King
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A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Betty Martin March 14, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Sharon Lopez
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I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Carol Lewis
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Deborah Perez
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Jacob Campbell
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Betty Johnson
Betty Johnson October 02, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Nicholas Cruz
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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