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Waiting for First Light: My Ongoing Battle with PTSD

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Waiting for First Light: My Ongoing Battle with PTSD

4.85 99,964 ratings · 3,145 reviews
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Overview: Longlisted for the RBC Taylor Prize: In this piercing memoir, Rom�o Dallaire, retired general and former senator, the author of the bestsellers Shake Hands with the Devil andThey Fight Like Soldiers, They Die Like Children, and one of the world's leading humanitarians, delves deep into his life since the Rwandan genocide.At the heart of Waiting for First Light is a no-holds-barred self-portrait of a top political and military figure whose nights are invaded by despair, but who at first light faces the day with the renewed desire to make a difference in the world. Rom�o Dallaire, traumatized by witnessing genocide on an imponderable scale in Rwanda, reflects in these pages on the nature of PTSD and the impact of that deep wound on his life since 1994, and on how he motivates himself and others to humanitarian work despite his constant struggle. Though he had been a leader in peace and in war at all levels up to deputy commander of the Canadian Army, his PTSD led to his medical dismissal from the Canadian Forces in April 2000, a blow that almost killed him. But he crawled out of the hole he fell into after he had to take off the uniform, and he has been inspiring people to give their all to multiple missions ever since, from ending genocide to eradicating the use of child soldiers to revolutionizing officer training so that our soldiers can better deal with the muddy reality of modern conflict zones and to revolutionizing our thinking about the changing nature of conflict itself. His new book is as compelling and original an account of suffering and endurance as Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking and William Styron's Darkness Visible.

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Published October 25, 2016
ISBN 29236272
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Roméo Dallaire
About the Author
Roméo Dallaire
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Roméo Dallaire writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Roméo Dallaire lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Jessica Nguyen
Jessica Nguyen December 24, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Brian Hill
Brian Hill August 07, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Brian Nguyen September 30, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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An acceptable diversion. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
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Lisa Torres June 19, 2025
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Karen Martinez September 01, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Paul Diaz October 19, 2025
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Matthew Moore February 09, 2024
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Robert Hall June 10, 2024
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Kimberly Moore January 09, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
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A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Dorothy Gomez
Dorothy Gomez January 02, 2025
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I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Matthew Evans
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Not entirely to my refined tastes. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
George Diaz
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Susan White
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Donna Mitchell
Donna Mitchell March 11, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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Anthony Young November 29, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Barbara Wilson
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
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Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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An acceptable diversion. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perfectly average.
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Jennifer Clark December 12, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Elizabeth Anderson
Elizabeth Anderson October 02, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Betty Mitchell
Betty Mitchell February 20, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Jennifer Clark
Jennifer Clark June 04, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Christopher Clark June 07, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Susan King
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Sharon Lewis
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
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Rebecca Thompson August 27, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Rebecca Gomez
Rebecca Gomez February 20, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Donald Taylor
Donald Taylor June 26, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Sarah Perez August 25, 2025
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I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Cynthia Wilson March 13, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Sarah Perez
Sarah Perez April 12, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
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Ashley Phillips July 28, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Gary Martin
Gary Martin January 19, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Emily Roberts
Emily Roberts June 19, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Ashley Hernandez
Ashley Hernandez December 22, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Brian Hill
Brian Hill December 27, 2025
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Ryan Martinez
Ryan Martinez November 09, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Steven Turner
Steven Turner July 19, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Patricia Jones
Patricia Jones January 02, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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Rebecca Rodriguez April 24, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Amanda Thompson November 18, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Kevin Mitchell
Kevin Mitchell March 06, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
James Evans
James Evans March 19, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
William Green
William Green March 10, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Richard Thompson
Richard Thompson December 20, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Thomas Thomas
Thomas Thomas May 03, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Patricia Thompson
Patricia Thompson March 26, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
William Jackson
William Jackson October 11, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
William Jackson
William Jackson August 29, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Thomas Rivera
Thomas Rivera February 15, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Eric White
Eric White October 19, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Kevin White
Kevin White June 07, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Melissa Harris
Melissa Harris August 04, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Michael  Davis
Michael Davis February 20, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Charles Carter
Charles Carter October 25, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Rebecca Cruz
Rebecca Cruz September 24, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Rebecca Harris
Rebecca Harris February 28, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Kenneth Robinson
Kenneth Robinson May 07, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Cynthia Green
Cynthia Green August 26, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Jacob Young
Jacob Young November 16, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Michelle Edwards
Michelle Edwards December 03, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Nicholas Campbell
Nicholas Campbell August 30, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Elizabeth Baker
Elizabeth Baker November 18, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Melissa Lopez
Melissa Lopez April 20, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Barbara Phillips
Barbara Phillips October 02, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Cynthia Wilson
Cynthia Wilson May 23, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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