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Between 2 Gods: A Memoir of Abuse in the Mennonite Community

Between 2 Gods

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Between 2 Gods: A Memoir of Abuse in the Mennonite Community

Between 2 Gods

4.85 12,358 ratings · 7,854 reviews
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Overview: The mountains rise, tall and majestic, stretching into the skies and gracing the heavens--that place where God dwells. I pause from my play, a young preschooler, to take in the breathtaking view, and wonder if I would be closer to God if I were at the top of that mountain. I feel Him in the breezes, see His angels in the raindrops as they dance in the puddles. At least that is how I imagine it. My heart is captivated and I want to know Him, this God who paints the beautiful sunrise and draws the curtains of sunset...I hear murmurings that my father has threatened to kill us--his family. He flies into a rage, cursing disobedience, declaring damnation on the offender... He offers religion without relationship, and it seems that the church affirms this teaching....These two Gods—the one revealed in nature, who makes beautiful things and whispers in the breeze, and the angry god who threatens, yells and abuses—collide, head on, in my mind, soul and spirit. I am confused and troubled. I pray to God. I ignore Him. I reach for Him. I shut Him out. I cry in desperation. I scream against Him, inwardly. I long to be held and loved by Him. I cringe. I fear. I flee.And always my heart wonders: Which God is real? Which one is safe? Which one will ultimately save me? Which one will condemn?My soul is tormented in the night, as the shadows dance on the walls of my room. I am seven. I am lost. I lie awake, afraid, wondering.... I am thirteen... the shadows still strike fear... the creaking stairs terrorize my mind... nightmares torment my sleep... I have tried the God of wrath, and He has left me condemned and lonely. I am abused, neglected and alone. I shut down... become numb and feel nothing. I am determined that I will not suffer forever......the God of my childhood is lost in the pain and trauma of abuse and I am left to struggle.... caught in a tug of war Between 2 Gods...Foreword by Boz Tchividjian, founder of G.R.A.C.E (Godly Response to Abused in the Christian Environment) and law professor at Liberty University School of Law, and grandson of Billy Graham.

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Pages 246
Language En-US
Publisher eLectio Publishing
Published March 3, 2015
ISBN 24820674
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Trudy Harder Metzger
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Trudy Harder Metzger
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Trudy Harder Metzger is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Trudy Harder Metzger can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
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Stephanie Campbell
Stephanie Campbell November 21, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Thomas Gonzalez
Thomas Gonzalez October 10, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Margaret Nguyen
Margaret Nguyen August 18, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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