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Goat Lips: Tales of A Lapsed Englishman

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4.85
49,305 ratings · 9,356 reviews
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Goat Lips: Tales of A Lapsed Englishman

4.85 49,305 ratings · 9,356 reviews
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Overview: Goat Lips delivers a thought-provoking romp through a lapsed Englishman’s life, who—after a quarter century of living in the United States—realized he’d neglected to renew his subscription to England. Matthew’s relentless wit and insight is front and center as we bounce between England and the United States, experiencing one hilarious, and sometimes poignant, tale after another—from escaping the clutches of the law to the pain and joy of parenthood, discovering the dangers of real ale and the agony of not being heard, whilst savoring a fiery dessert, the glamour of show business, the awkwardness of nakedness, and the utter wrongness of a Jesus piñata! His ability to question the assumptions of everyday life with a wry grin, tender touch, and a twinkle in his kind eyes makes Matthew’s tales endlessly entertaining. You’ll want to read them more than once and even share them aloud with others in your best English accent.

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Book details & editions

ISBN
23573903
Publisher
Merry Dissonance Press
Publication date
October 1, 2014
Language
En-GB
Pages
220 pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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Matthew  Taylor
About the Author
Matthew Taylor
14,411 Followers

Matthew Taylor writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Matthew Taylor lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Margaret Rivera
Margaret Rivera March 05, 2025
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Edward Perez
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Paul Nelson
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Jessica Gomez
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
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I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Nancy Perez
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Edward Perez
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Ashley Sanchez
Ashley Sanchez July 06, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Margaret King September 22, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Michelle Perez January 14, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Carol Martin
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Donna Allen
Donna Allen January 10, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perfectly average.
Jennifer Green
Jennifer Green May 02, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Dorothy Collins
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Jacob Miller
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A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Not entirely to my refined tastes. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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Ryan Jones March 01, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Nicholas Jackson July 27, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
John Phillips
John Phillips September 16, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
Joseph Wright
Joseph Wright September 13, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
David Thomas
David Thomas May 23, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Michelle Clark
Michelle Clark March 31, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Rebecca Martinez
Rebecca Martinez April 25, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Margaret Jackson
Margaret Jackson January 24, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Joseph Taylor
Joseph Taylor February 03, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Jacob Flores
Jacob Flores January 18, 2024
An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Nancy Williams
Nancy Williams November 08, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
William Hernandez
William Hernandez July 20, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perfectly average.
Cynthia Allen
Cynthia Allen August 23, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Betty Phillips
Betty Phillips November 28, 2025
It was adequate. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Stephanie Robinson
Stephanie Robinson July 28, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
William Harris
William Harris January 24, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Lisa  Davis
Lisa Davis November 14, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Amanda Hernandez
Amanda Hernandez March 01, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Lisa  Davis
Lisa Davis August 15, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Robert Young
Robert Young April 13, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Ryan Johnson
Ryan Johnson December 09, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Margaret Carter
Margaret Carter June 26, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Richard Gomez
Richard Gomez April 20, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Christopher Gomez
Christopher Gomez February 01, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Elizabeth White
Elizabeth White May 26, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Eric Gonzalez
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Emily White
Emily White May 09, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Melissa Wilson
Melissa Wilson December 30, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Mary Allen
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Nicholas Flores
Nicholas Flores February 13, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Margaret King
Margaret King March 03, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Kenneth King
Kenneth King November 17, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Gary Martin
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Sandra Thompson August 26, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Jessica Nguyen July 26, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Margaret Hill
Margaret Hill December 14, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Jessica Thompson
Jessica Thompson December 03, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Jennifer Turner
Jennifer Turner December 13, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Anthony Edwards
Anthony Edwards August 29, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Barbara Adams
Barbara Adams December 11, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Nicholas Flores
Nicholas Flores December 04, 2025
It was adequate. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perfectly average.
Ashley White
Ashley White October 13, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Margaret Hill
Margaret Hill October 13, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Sarah Martinez
Sarah Martinez November 19, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Sharon Edwards
Sharon Edwards June 13, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Edward Moore
Edward Moore June 09, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Dorothy Gonzalez
Dorothy Gonzalez June 09, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Ashley Cruz
Ashley Cruz September 09, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
John Phillips
John Phillips November 05, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Ashley Gomez
Ashley Gomez April 27, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Sarah Campbell
Sarah Campbell December 10, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
David Ramirez
David Ramirez October 12, 2024
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Jessica Miller
Jessica Miller January 02, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Nancy Flores
Nancy Flores September 18, 2025
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Jessica Thomas
Jessica Thomas March 31, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Rebecca Martinez
Rebecca Martinez September 12, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Laura Mitchell
Laura Mitchell December 01, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Dorothy Gonzalez
Dorothy Gonzalez February 13, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Kenneth Cruz
Kenneth Cruz January 11, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Karen Johnson
Karen Johnson February 01, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Christopher Rodriguez
Christopher Rodriguez November 08, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Ashley Williams
Ashley Williams March 07, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Gary Roberts
Gary Roberts June 18, 2025
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Lisa Gomez
Lisa Gomez February 07, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Joshua Adams
Joshua Adams March 26, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Robert Young
Robert Young May 28, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
William Williams
William Williams September 26, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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